Second Date

The person I cuddle is no longer you, the hand I hold no longer fits perfectly through the gap like how it used to be when we held hands. I have slowly tried to moved on, slowly trying to forget about you, forget about everything we been through. It's hard, because everywhere I go, I think of you. Bits and pieces of memories of us comes back to me from time to time. It hurts, it pains to be okay, to force a smile on my face that I knew from the beginning that I didn't want. It's fustrating to love something so much and to let it go, to date someone for so long and force to forget.
Moving on is the toughest part or everyone.

Today I went to Knotts Berry Farm, the only amusement park that I haven't been to with an ex, not counting Six Flags, because that is just way too much.
Going through places, walking down and riding similar rides just kills me a little on the inside, having fragments after fragments of memories just falling through, passing by my head.
I want to let it go already, I want to forget about it already.

He doesn't even want me back, he doesn't love me anymore, why am I spending so much time and effort crying about him, crying to him?

I honestly don't understand why.

The date wasn't a bad date, we had laughs and jokes on the side. Althogh I was cold to him for half of the day, the other half sort of made it up. He is a gentlemen, besides his character and personality sometimes, and the way he talks, he is everything a girl can ask for in a sense. He takes care of you, making sure you're okay, have a job that pays enough to take you out to eat and afford things. Able to take you to places, and willing to take days off to take you to places